


Every Woman's Fantasy

by AnneAnna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Baby shark, Ben and Armitage Hux are horny and middle aged, Breeding Kink, Discussion of A/B/O themes, F/M, Fluff, Having sex on any surface besides your bed in your hotel room is a really bad idea., Helmetless Kylo Ren, How not to use whipped cream during sex, Hux has a biting kink, Jewish Ben Solo, Married Reylo, Married Roux, Never let Hux book your travel plans, Pregnancy, Probably the only Ao3 fic where Ben Solo has to remove a tentacle from a toilet, Reference to Tentacle sex, Reference to anal activities, Rey and Rose are sly middle aged mommas, Rose is so over Hux's vampire kink, The author is neither a plumber nor a doctor so don't trust her advice, The author makes no promises that any actual sex will not be a sexcatastrophe, You should always brush and floss before making out., established relationships - Freeform, parenting, pregnancy symptoms, spitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27082330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneAnna/pseuds/AnneAnna
Summary: The slightly kinky Parenting and Marriage Reylo AU that nobody asked for.Read the tags and be enlightened.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, referenced Finn/Poe
Comments: 88
Kudos: 86
Collections: The Silver Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tmwillson3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmwillson3/gifts), [CaliforniaQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliforniaQueen/gifts), [amybeegood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amybeegood/gifts), [greywilde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greywilde/gifts), [ladyofreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofreylo/gifts), [AttackoftheDarkCurses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AttackoftheDarkCurses/gifts), [duelingaxis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/duelingaxis/gifts), [feralsandgremlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feralsandgremlin/gifts).



> This is not a slam against fan fiction. Rather it is an appreciation for it's ability to take me away from my very hectic mommy life both as a reader and a writer. 
> 
> This is also what happens when you fall asleep after reading about Ben Solo dressed as a dill pickle and living as a hot octopus and your two year old insists on waking you up at a god forsaken hour. Little sleep, lot's of coffee and left over smut on the brain.
> 
> Love CaliforniaQueen's and tmwilson3's amazing fics!!
> 
> Amy I just added you after writing chapter 4, please don't have your version of Ben Solo kill me although if I have to be murdered...
> 
> Grey and LadyofReylo I was inspired for your fics by chapter 5, I really hope you don't mind. I love your sweet smutty fics! You both do some beautiful writing.
> 
> Chapter 6 is for Attack of the Dark Curses. I love your amazing works but it was your social media last night that had me in stitches and yes I did create a Helmetless Kylo Ren tag for this fic.
> 
> Chapter 7 is for Axis and Lizzie who bravely managed pregnancy during the past year and also because you are both nice!

It was the Bailey’s that Ben set on the coffee table that gave away the fact that my husband had something dubious on his mind. 

Ben never, and I mean never bought me Bailey’s unless he wanted something, and when he did it usually meant that he was desperate for sex. He was pouring four shots handing me one as well as Rose and Hux. 

Rose and Hux had joined us in our home for a rare kid free evening. I was under the impression that it was innocent but now by the way Ben refused to meet my eyes I wasn't so sure.

Why the hell was he serving Bailey’s with Hux and Rose here?

As much as I loved my best friend and my husband's best friend who had been happily married to each other for the past fifteen years, I was not about to engage in a foursome with them, especially not when I was on carpool duty in the morning. 

Then Hux brought the Godiva to the table prompting Rose to say, “What weird twisted thing are you two about to ask us?” 

Then Ben and Hux gave each other a look and I sighed.

” Come on just spit it out.” I said, I had a bad feeling about anything the two of them could concoct.

“Well,” Hux started, “We know how much you love Alpha/Beta/Omega FanFiction.”

Rose and I looked at each other. Love was an understatement, we were obsessed with ABO fics. We both snuck in stories on our phones while we sat on the toilet, waited in the car lane at school, during our kid's various athletic practices, when the traffic light turned red, anytime else we could get a moment of privacy.

“So we wrote a list of you know sexual things from ABO fics and um ..”

Ben’s hesitancy would have been sweet if Hux and Rose were not right there. Seriously. 

“And we just wondered how interested you are in completing some of those acts.” Hux finished the thought.

I can't really say whose jaw hit the floor first, mine or Rose’s.

Our husbands were absolute bloody idiots. And we were bloody idiots for leaving our phone browsers open. Please tell me they hadn't found the tentacle porn.

“You know,” Rose began, “ The whole point of fan fiction is that it is fiction and not reality.” 

“But wouldn't you like to make it a reality with us, you know we,” Hux gestured to himself and Ben, "are the Alphas and you", he gestured to Rose and I “ are the Omegas.”

“So for example,” my flustered husband suggested “How do you feel about mating bites?”

Rose, never one to hold back demanded “And where exactly do you think you’ll be biting us?”

“Well preferably your neck.” Hux replied.

I was now deleting everything from my phone history, ever.

“Have you lost you ever freakin’ mind Armitage?” Rose spewed and then continued, 

“I mean, I have to see your mother tonight, how the hell am I going to explain a huge bite mark on my neck to your mother when she gives me crap about my baby weight all the time?” Rose gestured to her midsection. 

I thought about my mother in law Leia and her campaign against domestic abuse and asked Ben “And realistically would you like your mother seeing this bite Friday night during Shabbat?” 

Ben sighed, “ She would probably send me to Uncle Luke and make attend Hebrew school all over again for my blatant lack of morality. Gosh we thought you’d want something that marks us as ours.”

I was starting to wonder if my husband was having a midlife caveman crisis. It would certainly explain the constant lack of cleanliness around our home. 

“That’s why we have these!!” Rose said, flaunting her wedding ring. She then inspected it and said “It really oughta be resized, it’s a little tight.”

Hux groaned.

“Yeah we really don’t need bite shaming either.” I added thinking of the parents we faced on a daily basis.

“Bite shaming?” Our husbands asked in unison.

Rose of course completely understood and explained. “Yes, if we all sported mating bites, I can just hear the comments from the other parents, “Your bite is bigger than my bite, or “You have a child but no bite, how terrible”, or “What’s wrong with you that you would let him/her bite you?” 

Ben and Hux looked at each other, clearly not understanding the competitive bitchiness of fellow parents.

“So biting is off the table.’ Hux muttered.

“What about knotting? We can try to make the sex last a lot longer and pretend we are knotting?”Ben offered.

“Benjamin,” I said shaking my head “ How long do you think your old man penis could last, because number one, Hannah is constantly creeping into our bed all the time because of nightmare’s, number two Ezra still needs his diaper changed throughout the night and always insists on playing for thirty minutes after you change him, and number three that damn dog of yours, Threepio, insists on waking us up to piss. If you and I can get a quickie, we are more than lucky.”

“No Joke.” Rose said and looked at me with a glint in her eye. “It’s like we’d need to get away to really get into it.”

“Exactly’ I agreed liking where she was going with this.

Our husbands of course remained oblivious.

“What if we used our Alpha voices, would that be sexy?” Hux suggested.

Rose had to cover her mouth as to not insult her forty something husband with laughter, whose receding hairline and growing beer belly that matched my husband’s did not speak sexy. 

“You know I’ve never understood why the whole Alpha voice is such an appealing fantasy trope. You would think women would want to feel empowered and be in control.” I said in all earnestness.

“Why baby, what would you want to tell me to do?” My husband offered suggestively.

“Well you could start by throwing your socks and briefs in the washing machine.” I answered thinking of our bedroom floor. 

Ben looked crushed so I grabbed his hand, “Listen babe I love you but in all honesty I’m so busy with kids and work and everything that I don't have time to be a sex goddess. I would really need to get away to act out anything from these fics from you going down on me to nipple play. I’m so tired by the time we get to sex.”

“I agree,” Rose concurred, “The whole heat aspect of these fics is the best fantasy ever. Away with your lover, free from little ones who constantly need you, being taken care of for days instead of taking care of everyone else.” Rose followed my suit and took her husband's hand.  
“Plus we’d actually have time to shave.“ Rose added.

Ben wrinkled his nose, “Don't you shave all the time?”

“My legs Benjamin,” Rose said, “And I’m lucky to get that done with three children who constantly feel that they have free access to me when I shit.”

Wasn't that the truth.

“So what you ladies are saying is that you would be willing to do anything and everything if we took you away on a kid free vacation?” Hux asked “Even biting?”.

Did Hux have some weird bite kink that Rose had failed to tell me about? I mean Ben was really into whipped cream so ..

“Baby if you take me on a kid free vacation you can bite me anywhere that your mother won't see.” Rose promised. 

“I agree,” I said squeezing Ben’s hand. 

The guys sighed aware that this evening had not gone the way they planned.

“So where do we need to book this vacation to?”  
Ben asked.

“Well,” I looked at Rose and said, “I really like reading about tentacle sex too, and you really need an exotic location to act those fantasies out so ..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I upped the chapter count by one because I just couldn't help myself.
> 
> Writing this is just too much fun.
> 
> I have no idea whether lubricant is toxic for a three year old to swallow, so if your child uses it as toothpaste you should in fact contact a medical professional.
> 
> Enjoy.

It’s absolutely amazing how quickly a three year old can clog a toilet, even with a tentacle dildo. 

Because yes my husband had bought a shiny purple tentacle dildo off of Amazon for our trip. 

Ezra of course, found said dildo and decided to play with it in the toilet, as they do. 

Watching my husband try to unclog said toilet with three children and a dog was truly the highlight of my evening. It also gave me an excuse to avoid finishing packing.

Because tomorrow, Ben, Rose and Hux and I were finally leaving for paradise, our first kid free vacation ever so that our husbands could bang us to their heart's desire. Fortunately for us their stamina probably meant that we could get at least two trips to a spa, possibly even three as our husbands had a decade on us.

So of course, everything had to go to pot this evening. The washing machine had flooded, Threepio had thrown up, Hannah played hide and seek with the remote control and couldn’t find it and worst of all the k cup machine was broken. 

Ben was currently alternating between tugging the tentacle and glaring at his family for viewing his plumbing skills as a spectator sport.

I might add that I was enjoying his muscular arms on display. 

Ben might have lost his eight pack but at 48, he worked out three times a week and was still hot as hell and I was very much looking forward to six nights of uninterrupted sex and sleep.

I really wasn't sure what I was looking forward to more. Sleeping uninterrupted is every mother's wet dream. Eight hours of sleep is equivalent to an orgasmic frenzy. 

“Why don’t you call grandpa - he can fix anything?” Hannah our six year old so helpfully suggested as Ben continued to tug. 

“Because Dad is too embarrassed to ask Grandad to unplug a dildo from our toilet," Abram, our 14 year old explained.

“How the hell do you know what a dildo is?” I asked in a low tone in hopes that Hannah wouldn't hear.

“I'm in High School mom, I’m allowed to be interested in sex.” Abram shrugged. 

Great, I have two men in this family now who need to control their sperm. 

“Why would Daddy be embarrassed to get Grandad? It’s just an octopus arm. “ Hannah inquired.

Abram snickered.

Ezra choose this moment to start throwing cheerios into the toilet bowl meaning that he was ready to aim. 

“Rey would you please remove yourself and these children or I swear I’ll be going to jail tomorrow not Florida.” Ben complained, one hand deep in the bowl while shooing away Ezra.

“No you won’t because then you won’t be getting some, I mean that’s why we have to stay with Grandad and Grandma isn’t it - you want to get some?” Abram taunted.

“Get some what? “ Hannah asked.

Ben gave me a look and I wondered if there was a way of reversing Abram’s bar mitzvah. The child clearly was not old enough to be responsible for his own tongue. 

“Please.” Ben pleaded.

I relented, removing our children from the bathroom with the promise of chocolate and made the older two attempt to tidy up before Grandma arrived in the morning to go over everything with a fine tooth comb. 

Then my phone buzzed. It was Rose.

“What did Alex eat this time?” I answered.

“How did you - oh nevermind - the lubricant - he found the strawberry lubricant that Armitage bought for the trip - he thought it was toothpaste.” The panic rolled through her voice.

“Rose, Breath,” I instructed her “If the lubricant is edible than it’s not poisonous and you do not, I repeat do not, need to call 911, google edible lubricant on webmd, or talk to a doctor on telehealth, and you definitely do no need to go to the ER room again.”

“Are you sure Rey?” Rose huffed.

“Remember the crayons Rose.” I said. 

Rose had literally called 911 because her child swallowed an edible crayon. The operator laughed for a good five minutes, so did the guys.

Ben wouldn’t even call a doctor when Hannah broke her arm last month because she tried to do a back handspring like Blippi. He was convinced that between two medical professionals we could treat it. I enlisted Grandma Bear Leia and won that round.

“Give him some water, he’ll be fine, I am a PA Rose - you have to trust me.” I told her.

“Okay. okay - I have to finish packing anyway - I’m so upset my lingerie with spanx is on backorder .” Rose sighed.

“Yeah well my boobs developing past a B cup have been on backorder since 7th grade.” I envied Rose’s curvaceous body and she envied my slender one.

“Armie’s mother still doesn’t understand why we have to do this, she thinks you and I are selfish mommies.” Rose complained.

“Is that why Finn and Poe are watching the kids?” I inquired. 

“Yeah they are thinking of adopting and want a trial period.” Rose affirmed.

“No offense to your children Rose, but I think watching three children for a week isn’t a trial - it’s a tribulation especially since Finn and Poe are insisting at watching them at their house instead of yours- those two have no idea what they are getting into.” I commented, so thankful that Han and Leia had happily offered to watch ours here.

Unfortunately, I was also very sure that Abram would repeat the tentacle tale. Han would never forgive us for that.

“I’m slightly concerned that Finn may end up tied up and set on fire,” Rose said, ‘Finn is insisting on keeping the twins home instead of sending them to daycare, thinking he can work from home and watch them. He has no subscription to Disney Plus or HBO kids so the man clearly doesn’t know how three years old’s work.”

“Rose, my husband is currently digging a tentacle out of our toilet because he, a father of fourteen years, doesn't understand how three years old work.” I laughed.

“Did I mention that Armitage bought a vampire sex kit for this week. He’s clearly too excited about this trip. ” Rose laughed

“Too far Rose too far. I don’t want to know about your husband’s weird biting kink.” I teased.

Suddenly I heard a wail from Hannah.

“Mommy, Ezra ate my chocolate and spit it out in my hair!” 

Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

"Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, baby shark-” my husband’s voice woke me up as he sang to Ezra in the bathroom. His voice was sexy the song was not.

I looked at my phone on the coffee table and groaned, between packing, my husband’s attempt to get a quickie in as he was horny as hell due to us going on vacation today, Threepio's barking and Hannah’s 2:00 am nightmare’s last night I had gotten exactly three and a half hours of sleep. And Hux’s mother wants to shame Rose and I for wanting to get away. I seriously have no idea how Michelle Duggar ended up pregnant so many times, I mean did she have a caffeine IV running through her veins while her husband rutted her? 

Ben on the other hand had made me tea while I cleaned up after sex. Ben had learned long ago that I was far more likely to respond if he treated me with some dignity.

I meandered down to the kitchen and absently stuck a k-cup in the coffee machine forgetting of course that Hannah has shoved glitter glue in it yesterday and sighed as my coffee came out all sparkly. 

I texted Leia and begged her for a caffeine fix. I suddenly felt two well muscled arms around my waist, as my very excited husband whispered into my ear, “So since the tentacle is out, maybe we could incorporate a shark.” 

“Ben,” I said trying to keep a straight face, “There is no way in hell I’m having sex with anything remotely related to Baby Shark, that song is the bane of my existence. Ezra and Hannah ask for it more than your mother asks for another grandchild.” 

Ben sighed and huffed, “Way to kill my sexy baby shark moment. Yeah I know that’s the only reason my mother agreed to watch the kid’s, she wants another grandchild.”

I turned around and patted his cheek, “Don’t you just love being an only child.”

“Oh all the time.” Ben answered sarcastically and then added, “I better go find the TV remote or my Dad will have a coronary attack if he can’t watch baseball or the news.”

**************  
It took us exactly three hours to get out of the house that morning and that was with the coffee my mother in law graciously provided.  


Ezra was clueless, Hannah cried and Abram looked overjoyed as his grandparents would pretty much let him get away with murder. Threepio just peed on Ben’s shoes, delaying us even more.

Leia promised to keep everyone together but made sure we had at least three bottles of wine for her.

Han dropped Ben and I off at the airport with a “Now don’t have too much fun kids, cause unlike your mother - I’m happy with three. So make sure you either pull out or keep a rubber on it.” With that Han drove off.

“Does your dad always have to have such helpful advice? He does realize I'm on the pill right?" I grimaced to Ben as we lugged our suitcases to check in.

“Oh you should have heard him in middle school when he gave me the “talk”. It was definitely the R rated version,” Ben laughed.

“Tell me again why we are allowing him to spend a whole week with our teenage son?” I asked.

“Because baby, you and I, we need to feel human again. Besides I survived Han Solo, Abram will be fine.” Ben shrugged.

Thinking of how Abram was a little surprise during my grad school years when I was a student and Ben one of the doctors in the practice I interned with, I wasn’t entirely confident. 

I was also very quickly not confident of Hux’s vacation planning skills. Hux had booked us tickets on a second rate airline where we had to pay extra to get seats together.

“Seriously Armitage!” Rose demanded and handed the attendant her credit card to straighten this out as none of us were about to get stuck next to a screaming toddler instead of our partners.

“I’m sorry ma’am but your card’s been declined.” The attendant told Rose.

“WTF?, How?” demanded the mystified Rose.

“Here”, Ben handed over ours while Rose looked over her statement on her phone. 

“You have got to be freakin kidding me!” Rose complained looking at her phone.

“It wasn’t me, I swear.” Armitage told his extremely irritated wife.

“I know it wasn’t you, it was clearly Paige, she purchased over a thousand dollars worth of fantasy games.” Rose moaned. 

“I told you not to save our credit card information on Amazon Rose!” Armitage started to get red.

“And I told you to purchase tickets from a decent Airline Armitage!” Rose snarled.

Ben and I looked at each other and I wondered if it was too late to go on a vacation by ourselves. 

The real kicker though came when we finally arrived in Florida several hours later - Hux had admittedly chosen a nice hotel but had stupidly booked us all in one room together on accident. Unfortunately the hotel was completely full until tomorrow and we would have to share a single bed room for the night. We called around but being Florida in April, everything from Hotel Eight to Hilton was full. 

I wasn’t sure who was going to kill Hux first, Ben, Rose or Me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spit scene is blatantly a bad recreation of Amybeegood's scene in Creep. If people made money for writing fanfic's, her tale would be a bestseller- it's that good.  
> The reference to sex on a Kitchen Island is from FeartheFaithful's angsty epic Teach Me How to Love and there are no words to describe how hot that scene actually is.
> 
> I don't personally know either one of these authors but I really like their fics and really hope they don't mind me incorporating them into this. I'm hoping that as long as I give credit where credit is due I won't go to Ao3 timeout or be kicked out.

“Finally, Finally, Finally!” Ben said and promptly scooped me up, attempting to carry me over the threshold of our hotel room.  


Last night had been terrible. Rose and I had ended up spooning in the one bed while Hux and Ben each took a chair. And of course Hux snored all night long while Rose had some restless leg thing. We collectively decided to spend the day apart as couples, needing space after Hux’s mistake.  


“You do realize Benjamin that we have dinner reservations in two hours.” I reminded him as he deposited me on the bed. I was really hoping for a catnap.  


“Good, that gives us an hour and a half to have as much sex as possible before we shower- hell we can even have sex in the shower!” My husband was clearly elated, my dreams of a nap dissolving. Glancing at his eager eyes and sweet smile I didn't mind too much. A familiar desire started to pulse through me.  


“So Baby,” Ben said already placing his arms around me in a gentle hold.”What fan fiction kink can we try first?”  


Oh crap we were back to that.  


I protested with “Well the tentacle you bought is still in bleach and we’ve already established that ABO stuff is impractical-”  


“No Baby this is your heat and I want to do the dirtiest, kinkiest thing you can think of, I mean what have you been reading?”My husband was so - so eager.  


I wracked my brain for an acceptable story line. Any type of eating out was off the table as I still needed time to shave. I needed something truly fantastically different that would satiate my husband’s horny needs and truthfully a little of mine.  


“Well I'm reading this really hot dark stalker tale where the guy is so aggressive that he spits in his girlfriend’s mouth to claim her and -” I started explaining  


“ I can do that.” Ben interrupted.  


“What, be a tantalizingly hot multimillionaire stalker?” I laughed at my absolutely adorable husband in all of his middle age dad glory.  


“Sorry hun, but you're way too sweet and poor for that.” I said running my hand over his shirt and added, “Plus the Star Wars shirt you’re wearing is all geeky dad image.”  


Ben pretended to look insulted but then arched his eyebrows and said in his best attempt at a sexy voice.  
“Come on baby let me spit in your mouth and claim you.”  


I made a very rash decision heightened by the fact that with no children hanging on my arm I actually had time to at least think about being horny.  
“No, baby.” I purred, “I’m gonna claim you, open up.” I sat kneeled on the bed above him while he lounged on a pillow, his hands entwined in mine.  


Ben opened his mouth and I spit and aimed. I was putting all those years of teaching Abram how to spit watermelon seeds to good use for once.  


Suddenly, Ben was choking and had to speedily let go of me, causing me to fall back on the bed with a thud. Ben frantically ran to the bathroom sink and grabbed some water. He started hacking over the sink.  


I ran after him, and had to pound his back as he was clearly choking over something. He then coughed up a left over piece of grape from my chicken salad from lunch that must have gotten stuck in my teeth somehow.  


“Rey,” he gasped, “What the hell, if we ever, ever do that again, you are definitely brushing and flossing your teeth first. I’m pretty sure the stalker in your tale had better dental hygiene.”  


Oops. Fanfiction recreation fail thwarted by the lack of tooth floss.  


“We could just have regular sex you know.” I told him.  


“No Rey, I am bound and determined to successfully recreate one of these scenes you love so much.” Ben said with a glint of determination in his eye, “Give me another scenario.”  


I had learned long ago that when Ben wanted something, he wanted something so, “Well, I am reading this super angsty fanfiction where this couple dances around each other forever because the guy is forced into marrying her sister. They finally have sex on the Kitchen Island and it is every middle aged mama’s wet dream.  


Ben scanned the bathroom and said “this counter is too small I don't want a pipe up my ass, only you. Let’s look around the hotel room, this can work baby, this can work, let’s find a surface and recreate your fantasy. “  


We went back out to our bedroom and Ben scanned the room. His eyes lit up and he picked me up.  


Ben then sat my butt on the wooden table in the corner of our room.  


“Ben I kinda think we might break this table.” I warned. The table looked steady but we were two middle aged adults.  


Ben laughed and said, “No, we won’t trust me, this is your Island honey and I will make you come all over it. Let’s get these clothes off.”  


We stripped as quickly as two parents who are used to five minute showers can and my husband started to warm me up gently and slowly using his tongue and fingers in ways we never had time for.  


My ass was still on the table and I enjoyed every minute of Ben’s ministrations.  


“Baby, please,” I begged, ripe and ready to be entered. My walls were clenching in eager expectation. I wanted my husband. Ben all too eager to comply thrust into me with a force that could rival any fantasy. I would never get over how well endowed he was.   


Suddenly as we were heavily panting and thrusting the surface of the table fell and we crashed straight onto the hotel room ground, the table in wooden pieces around us with splinters poking us everywhere and my bottom and legs aching. My butt smarted terribly and Ben winced.

“Oh God, “ my husband whined in all his naked glory,” I think my leg is broken.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied, after my subscriptions doubled after the last chapter I figured everyone deserved a second sexcatastrophe chapter.
> 
> Grey I loved your Peaches and Kink so it was clear inspiration for this chapter. 
> 
> LadyofReylo your Dear Mortal was perfect and I definitely was inspired to go with Hux's vampire kink.
> 
> This chapter has some gross moments but if you are reading this and have children, nieces or nephews I'm assuming your tolerance level is fairly high.

Although Ben had managed to break the table with his thrusting, he had not broken his leg. 

To be honest I was less concerned about him hobbling around in Florida than I was at home. Having an injured man is the equivalent to having not one but two extra children in the house. Ben is so needy when he's sick that I’m tempted to toss him a pacifier.

Unfortunately when I’m sick unless I'm terribly contagious the world keeps on spinning. Ben will try to help out but my children find it impossible that Mommy might need a break and will very kindly crawl on top of me for the five minutes I manage to lay down. 

Which is why our trip away was such complete and utter bliss.

Ben and I were incredibly sore the next day and the only swallowing involved was water and IB profen.

The advantage being that Rose and I snuck in our Spa day.

I noticed that Rose was a little hyper which clued me into the fact that she was hiding something.

“Okay spill, what happened last night?” I asked her as we lay soaking in the saltwater pool.

“Rey.” She answered with a warning finger.

“Rose.” I said convinced there was indeed a story to tell.

I could tell by the way Rose was pressing her lips together that she was dying to tell.

“Okay.” Rose relented and confessed.

“So you know how Armie bought a vampire sex kit?”

Unfortunately I did. “Yes.”

“Well the kit came with these vampire fangs that he put on.” 

I loved how nonchalantly Rose had no problem with her husband acting like a ten year old, but it was Hux so..

“Well um he decided to eat me out and he kinda got stuck.” Rose shared.

WTF?

“How exactly did he get stuck?” I said internally shaking.

“Well I didn't go bare so the fangs may have gotten tangled in my hair. I did tell him I needed to shave first but he just wouldn't listen. He said he was just too thirsty for me.” Rose shrugged.

So many thoughts were flying through my brain but I thanked the universe that I was with Ben and not Hux for the billionth time.

“So how did you get unstuck- did the fangs pop out?” I asked genuinely curious.

Rose shook her head, “No, the fangs wouldn't come off without a hospital intervention so I literally had to take Hux to the ER covering his head on my lap with a blanket. You should have seen the look of all those grannies on the hotel shuttle bus.” 

“You know I think you should make him stick to your neck, a hickey is far preferable to mooning Florida’s finest.” I said laughing. 

Rose shook her head and said “I’ll told him I’ll be willing to invite him in every time but that’s the only Vampire fantasy reference he’s getting for the rest of the trip unless it involves sleeping away half the day”. 

That reminded me. I wanted to try to bless Ben with his fantasy.

Which is why on the last night of the trip I stood in our hotel room only wearing whipped cream.

Ben’s eyes got huge with his delicious smile and he stood up and walked over to me losing his clothing faster than his usually loses his keys.

“Oh baby please tell me it’s time for peaches and cream", he said squeezing my ass ever so gently.

My husband has two kinks, whipped cream and asses, particularly my ass.

“I'm all yours darling, you’ve been so good, taking me on this trip Ben, you can eat as much peach pie as you want tonight.” I placed my arms around him and pulled him in for a kiss, having squirted just a bit of cream on the tip of my tongue for him to enjoy. 

Ben pulled me in tightly smashing my whipped cream masterpiece with his body. Neither one of us minding the stickiness because as parents we’d already been subject to every conceivable form of bodily and non bodily substance at least twice. 

My personal favorite was Ben getting purple grape pumpkin puree thrown up on him after he tossed Ezra in the air. 

Ben squeezed my ass tightly with one hand and cupped my chin with the other. “Baby I have an idea, would you go with it please?” 

Practically high from six child free days and an adequate sleeping schedule I foolishly agreed. 

“Yes.” I smiled into my adoring husband’s eyes. 

“Bend over, baby, I want the best peach pie ever.”

I removed myself from our sticky entanglement and propped myself up against the bed, ass in the air the way I knew he liked.

I suddenly felt a gentle cold tickle at my anus and heard the whipped cream bottle squirting.

“Benjamin what are you doing?” I asked suspiciously.

“I’m using the whipped cream as lubricant, I just need to get it a little deeper in,” I felt the pressure on my anal and then..

“Oh Shit!” Ben exclaimed.

I whipped around aware that there was something clearly stuck in the region of my buttocks.

I looked at the whipped cream canister, it was evident that my worst suspicions were confirmed, the plastic squeezing apparatus was clearly stuck in my hiney hole.

“Benjamin Organa Solo, that is not what I wanted stuck in my ass!” I yelled.

“I can try to get it out.” Ben offered sheepishly. 

“No, we are taking a shower as I don't want to go the hospital completely looking like a sex crazed moron and they will fix this.” I instructed, thinking of my husband’s fix it's. I had no desire for my butt to be ruptured.

And so we spent our last night in Florida in the sexiest way possible, sipping cups of coffee in the ER. I realized a little too late that drinking coffee wasn't the wisest when you have something lodged in your butt.

Just another day in the Solo household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On another note could someone kindly explain to me how to embed my Twitter account into a fic as it's only a week old and I would love to make some Reylo friends!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your amazing comments! This has been a blast to write!
> 
> Thank you to the author's who were kind to me after I included references to their fics without their consent. You all have made me laugh as well as cry in your fics which is much needed in Mommy Covid times.

Our trip back home was gloriously uneventful and we were prepared this time to fork over cash to sit together. 

Rose was already re entering mommy mode by checking the school email account for Paige and the twin’s preschool as we waited to board our flight. 

I’ll admit I did the same, then groaning when I realized that I needed to bake four dozen Hamentashen cookies by Tuesday for Hannah. 

I also realized that Ezra needed his track uniform clean for tomorrow and that all of the kid’s had dental appointments this week. As our dentist had a habit of yelling at me when our children showed up with less than perfectly flossed teeth, we needed to pick up some extra flossers on the way home.

I’d enlist Ben with all of his dental hygiene skills to thoroughly brush and floss the kids’ teeth for the next few days.

My week of fantasy getaway was crashing back to reality.

Suddenly Rose burst into laughter, “I just checked the twins attendance at Preschool last week, Finn had the twins checked in by noon on Monday.” 

“Seriously, I was hoping to save some cash by having Finn watch the twins at home.” Armitage grumbled.

“Would you watch the twins at home while working from home?” Rose asked her husband.

“Hell no!” Armitage replied honestly and we all laughed. 

“Hey look at this!” Ben said changing the subject and pointing to an advertisement on his phone.

I looked over at his phone and there was the character in Star Wars that Ben shared a name with in doll form.

“So,” I shrugged my shoulders and added “Please don't tell me you want the doll, we have enough dolls in our house already, I think we own stock in Matel.”

“No look at the name.” Ben pointed out. “Instead of calling him Ben Solo they call him Helmetless Kylo Ren.”

“Well that’s ridiculous, I mean his redemption journey back to being Ben Solo was supposed to be one of the biggest plot points of the trilogy. What are they canceling his redemption arc now?” Hux asked.

“I still say they needed more women on their writing team, then Ben Solo or Helmetless Kylo Ren would have gotten the girl instead of dying after saving her. “ Rose added, sharing our personal pet peeve.

Hux and Ben looked at each other, this was a well worn argument.

“Regardless,” I interjected , “Calling Ben Solo Helmetless Kylo Ren is like calling Rey the Goggleless Scavenger or Luke the Farmless Farmboy or better yet Poe the Spiceless Druggie.”

Our discussion was brought to an end when we had to board the plane. 

After we settled my constantly horny husband leaned over to me and said a little too loudly for my taste, “There’s one more thing I would like you to try before we land.”

“Ben,” I whispered back rolling my eyes, “We’ve managed to epically fail a stalker fantasy, table sex and anal sex not to mention Hux and Rose’s failed vampire sex. I can’t even imagine what would happen if we tried airplane sex. We’d probably break the toilet or moon the captain with our luck.”

Ben laughed and responded “No that wasn’t what I meant, Hux and I know how much you and Rose work hard and that we definitely don’t appreciate either one of you enough.”

“And so” Hux said while He and Ben pulled out little boxes at the same time, “Instead of resizing your wedding bands, we bought you new ones.”

Rose and I respectively kissed our husbands and although there was no airplane sex I won’t say there wasn’t any hanky panky going on underneath our blankets. 

We were more than happy to return to our children although it took me a week to find anything as my mother in law so kindly rearranged everything.

Six weeks later Rose and I had one more trip to make. Apparently our birth control pills had not exactly done their job.

Our indulgement in Fan fiction was certainly not stopping anytime soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written in honor of Kinkuary. I hope you enjoy it. Mind the tags!
> 
> Covid 19 hasn't been easy on any pregnant woman but Ao3 was a great distraction!

“Oh babe you look hot. Do you think we can have a quickie?”

My husband asked this as he entered our living room when he surveyed me in my very clingy prenatal exercise wear. 

My face went bright red as I was keenly aware that my Zoom class was not on mute.

Ben mistaking my horrified silence for compliance decided to rub my ass and say “ I just love it when you're pregnant. You are so sexy and beautiful, I just want to strip - “

“Benjamin - stop hitting on your wife and let us exercise.” Rose ordered in a no nonsense tone.

Ben who is usually very private around others swiftly removed his hand from my behind and his eyes turned to the screen where twenty pregnant women stared at him. Kaydel, our instructor, was absolutely dying of laughter and Ben hightailed it out of the room.

“Well girl, I don't think you will have any problem getting your hormonal needs met tonight. I have to say if I was into men, I would definitely tap that.” Kaydel laughed.

“I am eight months pregnant Kay. It’s not going to happen.” I said shaking my finger.

“Uh huh girl, whatever you say.” Kaydel snorted, “But I would love it if Jannah went that crazy for me in these clothes.”

I heard my phone ding and I knew Rose was texting me.

I looked and saw the words “Breeding kink?” 

“Can we please get back to class?” I huffed, tired of my sex life being such a hot topic.

“Sure but we expect a full update on Friday.”

My answer was to put my mac on mute. 

****

Being pregnant during Covid was quite the experience. It was my fourth pregnancy so it should have been a breeze. 

Instead I was now permanently stuck in my house with three children fighting for the downstairs bathroom. Abram was completely unmotivated to do his Zoom classroom and I had to constantly get on him. Hannah was always needing my help especially with Math.

Now Ben and I are both PA’s and you would think that second grade math would be a piece of cake. But simple math questions had somehow morphed into art projects and essays and we were lost. The teacher herself said it was a challenge and sympathized.

Ezra, my only child not on Zoom, was thrilled that his siblings were at home and did everything in his power to distract them leading to multiple arguments and mishaps.

My favorite being when he swallowed Abram’s flash drive.

Han and Leia finally took pity on me and twice a week Abram and Hannah were supervised by Leia while Ezra and Han played.

I would clean house, sleep, catch up on Fanfiction, run three closets worth of laundry, talk to Rose and at Ben’s encouragement joined the prenatal exercise class. This all helped me feel a little more human. Kaydel was recovering from her own pregnancy and was an excellent instructor. 

Doctors visits were unique as Ben couldn't even come to my ultrasounds. I also had to answer a billion questions and I really couldn't think of another way of saying, “It's during an international pandemic and I’m eight months pregnant so no, I haven't traveled out of the country lately.”

I also had to be tested for Covid every so often, leaving my nose tender. I was so ready to escape to the hospital for life to calm down. Ben, baby and I would have three days of alone time.

***

After the exercise class I headed up to the our shower. Ben snuck in and joked, “Now there’s no camera right?”

I slid my arms around my bae and smiled, “Absolutely not but don't you think this is kind of a tight fit.”

Ben eyed my large stomach and placed his arms around it, “Trust me babe, there is nothing hotter than you carrying my baby, I’m willing to make us fit."

Rose was spot one when she said that Ben had a breeding kink as I could very much feel his manhood pressed up against me. Between that and his skin on my skin my third trimester hormones were ready to play.

“Baby, you can do whatever you want.” I moaned. 

So Ben taking my word for it, reached around and grasped my nipples. This would usually be very hot but my nipples were extremely sensitive. I jumped at the contact sending Ben backwards and through the shower curtain. This in turn knocked me down and I landed on top of him. 

We burst out laughing and then Ben placed his hand on my stomach.“Is baby okay? He asked concerned. 

I felt our fourth child dancing and nodded.”The doctor said at this point it would take a lot to hurt her.”” For much to Hannah's delight we were having another girl.

“Maybe we should cool it.” I said.

“I just need to take care of this.” Ben gestured downwards for he was still rather hard.

I eyed him and offered, “I could help you with that.” 

“Are you saying what I think you're saying?” Ben raised his eyebrows.

I nodded and licked my lips.

“Wait,” Ben said and reached over to our vanity and grabbed a tube of lube.

“I bought this for our trip originally but completely forgot it.”

Ben opened up the tube and the most vile disgusting smell hit my senses. Whomever said that morning sickness was only a 1rst semester thing had clearly never been pregnant.

I made my way to the toilet. Afterwards I then took another shower while my husband made me a cup of mint tea to settle my stomach.

After Ben got his shower we settled down on the couch.

“I asked my mom if she would mind keeping the kids late as you weren't feeling well and she's now keeping them overnight.” Ben said.

I blessed Leia silently. “So no three hour bedtime routine, does that mean we can just Netflix and Chill without the hanky panky?” I asked absolutely exhausted.

Ben put his arm around me. “Yes, we will totally be that old boring married couple tonight. “ 

So we ate microwaved macaroni and cheese and fell asleep to Masterpiece Theater.

****

I awoke for my midnight pee break to Ben’s snoring. He was sprawled out on the couch next to me and definitely had stolen half of my covers.

After taking care of myself I suddenly had a brilliant idea. I’d spent months and months reading Fanfiction but even with all of my crazy life stories I’d never written one. Maybe it was time for me to add my voice to the fray. And so I opened up my mac book and began to write.

“

  
  
  
  
  


“


End file.
